Question: You receive a call from Santa, as the elves desperately need a hand in the workshop getting all the toys ready. Which video game character would you recruit to help out?
Jon: Do I powergame it, picking the most powerful character I can, or, as I’m inclined to do, go for the most amusing? I suppose it depends on what concessions I can wring out of Santa, before deciding how helpful I should be. *renegade points earned*
Fine, I’ll be nice. I’m going to pick Tracer from Overwatch, for numerous reasons.
- First of all, she’s annoyingly fast and Santa needs to get a wiggle on
- Secondly, that teleport is going to come in amazingly handy for the repetative parts of the product line
- Thirdly, if she’s with Santa she can’t keep shooting me in the damn back!
Cat: Tails – he’s well trained as a helper.
Dan: Well frankly Santa isn’t doing a very good job of working his elves is he!? He needs a floor manager perhaps, someone to handle the front line.
I’m going to pick Marcus from Borderlands 2, who primarily concerns himself with the distribution of weapons in the game. In the Mercenary Day DLC (the Borderlands version of Christmas), he sends the Vault Hunters (the characters you play) to a local frozen village, to take down an evil snowman. I’m not making this up.
His Christmas spirit is questionable, but it is there, his shop is decorated tastefully for the festive season at least. Despite the beard and belly, he’s not Santa. He’s no nonsense and should be able to whip the elves into shape, improving productivity in no time!
There’s nothing quite like the constant threat of violence to improve your work ethic.
Dan’s Wife: Sonic the Hedgehog, of course! He’ll zoom through it all!